Zugzwang
by BregoArodShadowfax
Summary: Sequel to 'Endgame,' 'J'adoube,' and 'Prophylaxis.'  He should have known that everything was too perfect to last.  That's how life works, after all: it always finds a way to screw you over.   Finn/Kurt


**Title:** Zugzwang

**Author: **AoiTsukikage

**Rating: **R

**Characters/Pairing: **Finn/Kurt mostly, others mentioned

**Chapter: **1/1

**Word Count: Just over 7500. Again.**

**Spoilers: **Better say everything, just to be sure :)

**Notes: **Future!fic, so inevitably AU, but I tried to stick to what we know of canon for the most part.

**Summary: **Sequel to 'Endgame,' 'J'adoube,' and 'Prophylaxis.' He should have known that everything was too perfect to last. That's how life works, after all: it always finds a way to screw you over.

**Disclaimer: **I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)

**Zugzwang**

"Hey, homo," is what Karofsky greets them with, and Finn can see Kurt literally _shaking _with some mix of what he figures is rage and terror beside him (he's never gotten the whole story of why Kurt's so darn scared of him, because he _knows _that the death threat isn't everything, but he can't figure out what Karofsky could have done to affect Kurt that much; the smaller boy is strong enough that words and even physical abuse won't make him run, so what…)

"David," Kurt says, rather civilly, although his tone is enough to make Finn's blood run cold. "I must admit, since I had predicted that you'd be cleaning out toilet tanks, this is almost an improvement."

"Don't push me, Hummel," Karofsky growls, and Finn steps in between them, ignoring the glare Kurt's giving him as he does so.

"Hey, just back off, dude," he warns, and he figures he'll be okay because he's still taller than Karofsky and there's only one of him. "Haven't you bothered him enough?"

"Finn, it isn't worth it. Let's just pay and go," Kurt puts a hand on his shoulder and Karofsky looks between Kurt and Finn before he leers at them.

"Ooh, so you listen to the little _girl _now, do you, Hudson?"

"None of your business, Karofsky," Finn mutters, knowing that he shouldn't care about any of this but feeling some of those old high school fears pop up again. Karofsky isn't his friend; far from it, so he tells himself that the last person whose opinion he should listen to is _his_ and straightens up to his full height. "Now leave us alone or we'll report you to your boss."

"Ooh, I'm _so _scared," Karofsky drawls, but Finn can see that he's actually worried they'll do that.

"Stay here. I'll go pay for this," Kurt levels a glare at Karofsky on his way by and enters the station, and Karofsky watches him go before turning to Finn.

"Hey, Hudson, just 'cuz you guys are brothers doesn't mean you have to hang out all the time," he tries to sound casual, but Finn's put up with too much crap from him over the years to return the favour.

"I know it's hard for you to understand, but maybe the fact is that I _want _to hang out with him," Finn replies, and man, he sounds like _Kurt _when he says that, and the words probably come out a little harsh, but Karofsky honestly looks surprised.

"And why would you wanna do that, huh? He your _boyfriend _or something?" Karofsky sneers, and Finn answers before he really processes what he's saying.

"So what if he is?"

And oh, God…oh, _God, _Kurt's going to _kill _him for this one, because…

"Heh, I _knew _he'd turn you gay," Karofsky takes a step forward and Finn raises his arms on instinct as Kurt comes back.

"Honestly, I leave you alone for a minute and you're ready to pound him into a pulp. You're such a boy, Finn," his voice is just slightly teasing, and Finn knows just by that that he's heard what Finn said and he's not angry. "And excuse us, David, but I'm going to go home and spend some quality time with my _boyfriend_," he adds in what's probably the most scathing tone Finn's ever heard him use before he kisses Finn gently on the lips, pulling away and getting back into the car.

"Leave him alone," Finn growls at Karofsky before following Kurt, and as they drive away he tries to make sense of the last expression he'd seen on Karofsky's face, because it wasn't the disgust he'd figured it would be…it was almost kind of…jealous and lonely at the same time.

But wait, that didn't make sense at _all_.

Did it?

000

"I think you owe me the truth," he says later when they're in their room, Kurt watching something on the television.

"About what?"

"What did Karofsky do to you back in high school, man? I mean, I know that he didn't threaten to kill you if you told you were getting bullied, 'cuz we all knew that was going on anyway. What are you hiding?" Finn asks softly, and Kurt turns off the TV before heaving a sigh and turning to face him.

"I can't tell you."

"Yeah you can, dude. I mean, I'm not gonna spill it to anybody, and he's not coming near you again," Finn promises, and Kurt gives him a rather false smile as a reply. "I mean it. We protected you at school, we'll protect you now." Kurt had, of course, eventually come back to McKinley, mostly because he was feeling far more constrained at Dalton than was comfortable, and also because eventually Karofsky and the others had found someone else to pick on (although that was, in part, thanks to Coach Sylvester who had made it publicly known that anybody who picked on Kurt was making an enemy of her as well. And man, people were _terrified _of Coach Sylvester).

"I'm sorry," Kurt finally shakes his head and looks away. "I know it's foolish of me to think that his words were anything but an empty threat, but…"

"Dude, he threatened to kill you. That's not empty," Finn crosses the room and kneels in front of Kurt, who still won't look him in the eyes. "Kurt, I'm not going to force you into anything."

That, for some reason, only makes him look sadder, and now Finn's _really _curious as to what could possibly be affecting him that much. He wracks his brain, trying to find a loophole to the whole situation. Yeah, if he was in Kurt's place, he'd probably be a little scared to say anything, too, but…

"Does anybody know? I mean, he only threatened if _you _told, right? Did you…did you tell anybody before he did that?"

Kurt gives him a much more encouraging smile, and Finn knows he's actually found the right answer to this. "Okay, awesome. So if I ask them…"

"He'll never believe that I didn't tell you, if it comes to it. But I won't be lying," Kurt says, leaning back on the sofa and spreading his legs enough that Finn can crawl in between them, looking up at his stepbrother. "So yes, to answer your question."

"So, who was it?" Finn asks before he can stop himself, but Kurt gives him a rather cool look and Finn knows that he's got to figure this one out for himself. Okay, so his first thought is Mercedes, but there's no way she would have let that slide, so obviously not. In fact, nobody in the Glee Club would have heard that and done nothing, so that meant… "Hang on, you'd known him for what, a couple of _days?" _

"I see you figured it out," Kurt ruffles his hair. "And yes, I may not have known him for very long, but he was the only one who, back then, really understood me. It was natural to tell him."

"Okay. I've got a phone call to make," Finn decides, standing up and patting Kurt's knee before going to find his phone and heading upstairs.

It was time to give Blaine a call.

000

"He honestly thinks this guy is still out to get him?"

"I dunno man; that or it's just another test for me, but I think he just really doesn't wanna talk about it," Finn admits, and he hears Blaine sigh before starting to talk.

"I think that's probably an accurate assessment. Kurt's spent so long trying to forget about him that it probably took every ounce of control he had not to break down today," Blaine sounds sympathetic, and Finn can't blame him. "Should I be there?"

"If you wanna, man. I mean, I know you know more about this than I ever will, but…thanks for telling me," Finn's still not sure how to process the fact that Karofsky's _gay, _but it makes sense in a weird way; it's like the boy that likes a girl so he puts a frog in her backpack or something to get her attention, only in a much more…Kurt has a word for it, but Finn'll settle for 'caveman-ish way' at the moment.

"So, I take it young David's no closer to coming out of the closet?" Blaine sounds wryly amused at that. "Kurt and I have always debated whether he, on some level, actually _likes _Kurt, or whether the attention was just because he was the only out student at McKinley."

"Some of both, I think," Finn, again, isn't sure how to process Karofsky actually _liking _Kurt, but by the look on his face when they'd kissed at the gas station, he was definitely jealous. Finn figures it's just karma; Karofsky's been horrible to people so long that maybe it's high time he saw the other side of the coin, and besides, Finn would _never _let anybody have Kurt who didn't completely have his approval (Kurt's way too special and deserves way better than that, anyway), and Karofsky's never going to be on that list.

"More than likely. Again, should I be there?"

"I think…yeah, dude, I think even if he doesn't know it, that he really needs somebody he can talk to, and I know I'm crap at sympathy and stuff," Finn admits. "I know it's a drive, but…"

"Kurt's more important," Blaine decides immediately. "See you in a couple of hours."

"Yeah. See you."

000

"You're joking," is what Sam says once he's called a 'meeting for the guys' in their living room (he'd tried to get Kurt to come up, but Kurt pretended to be engrossed in whatever he was watching so Finn let him be for the moment).

"Seriously, did we not get our point across or something?" Puck looks like he's ready to go pound some sense into Karofsky right then and there, his arms gripping the sides of the chair he's seated in.

"Look, it's probably not that big a deal," Mike tries, and they all turn to glare at him, so he adds, "If you avoid that gas station, what are the chances you'll run into him? Lima isn't tiny, and he'll be gone in a month or so."

"Yeah, but what happens if we _do _run into him?" Finn counters. "We were lucky that he was working and I could, like, hold the threat of his boss over his head, but if we're just walking down the street or something? This is his _home, _guys; he shouldn't be afraid to come home because of some old grudge!"

"Okay, you've got a point," Mike admits, and they're all thinking when Kurt comes up the stairs.

"Really, boys, I've said it before: much as I appreciate your concern, this entire brouhaha is unnecessary. I admit that I was perhaps a tad emotional today, but that's simply because I hadn't expected to see him," he states, going to sit on the couch.

"Dude, that doesn't matter," Puck shakes his head. "The point is, we need to figure out what happens if you see him _again." _

"Tina says you can file a restraining order," Artie adds helpfully. "And I can run into him if you want me to."

Kurt smiles at him for that one, but it's that sad smile that Finn had hoped he'd never see again. "Thank you; all of you. It means a lot to me that I've got friends who are willing to do that for me."

"Course we are. You're our boy," Puck leans over to punch him lightly in the arm, and Kurt looks a little surprised at that.

"And we're not gonna let anybody hurt you," Sam adds.

"Again, thank you," Kurt repeats. "But I fail to see why you need to hold this war counsel in my living room."

"Blaine's coming down," Finn says, and Kurt looks surprised for a moment before breaking into a smile. "He should be here soon."

"I see. Well, in that case, I suppose I'll put up with whatever sporting event you all decide to view this afternoon," he leans back against the couch and Puck grabs the remote, flipping channels until they find a baseball game. Finn looks over at Kurt, who's talking with Sam and Artie, and thinks how far they've come when a month ago the other boy still wouldn't talk to anybody.

"Speaking of sports, first Browns exhibition game in two weeks, and we're _so _having a guy's night," Puck announces as he sets the remote down. "Everybody cool with that?" They nod and Puck looks at Kurt. "Kurt?"

"You're seriously asking me if I'm going to join in watching a football game," Kurt laughs a little at the absurdity of the question, and Finn thinks that a few years ago Puck wouldn't have even considered _talking _to him much less asking his approval. Glee really _did _change all of them for the better.

"Hey, dude, you know the Browns are football. That's a start," Sam slings an arm over his shoulders and grins.

"When you live with my dad, you learn a lot of things about sports, whether you want to or not," he responds, leaning back into the couch. "And as long as you're all willing to put up with my griping about the game, I'm fine with it."

"Dude, you were on the team. How can you _not _know how to play football?" Puck looks a little confused, and Kurt laughs.

"Noah, my knowledge of football is limited to knowing that a higher score means a team is winning. I went out when I was told to kick, and that's what I did," he crosses his arms and looks a little smug at that, and Finn thinks he has a right to because he was _awesome. _

"Hey, you're the only reason we won any games at all that season," Mike adds, and Kurt nods in agreement.

"Even if you did make us do that totally gay dance," Puck grunts, and Sam looks up with a smirk.

"Yeah, I've heard about that, but I've never seen this…dance," he says, and Puck shakes his head.

"No. No way."

"Yeah, I mean, that was, like, years ago. I totally don't remember it," Finn says, although he _does _remember it; remembers every step of it.

"Stop with the lying, boys. I think we owe Sam a performance," Kurt uncrosses his legs and stands up. "After all, he wants to see it; don't you, Sam?"

"Totally," Sam's grinning widely and Finn _knows _he's going to laugh at them, but at least this'll make Kurt feel better.

"Alright, let's do this," Mike stands up (and of _course_ he'd take any excuse to dance).

"Noah, Finn, up," Kurt commands. "I'll grab my iPod dock."

"Why doesn't Artie have to do it?" Puck complains as he slowly lumbers to his feet.

"Artie wasn't on the team that year," Artie replies, settling back in his wheelchair.

"I hate you," Puck decides, but Kurt's running back up the stairs with the dock and Finn decides to just give into the inevitable.

000

And, naturally, Blaine shows up _right _before Kurt presses 'play' and he sits down with Sam and Artie to watch, looking like he's stuck between laughing hilariously and running away screaming (Blaine tends to look like that a _lot _when he hangs out with them, after all, although Finn can't really blame the guy).

They finish, Kurt doing a rather dramatic bow, as the three spectators clap for them.

"Never. Again," Puck says before slinking back to the chair and curling up, looking rather sulky.

"Dudes, that was awesome," Sam's still laughing, and he gets himself under control enough to ask, "You seriously did that during a game? In front of the fans and everything?"

"Sure did," Finn grins, remembering that night. Everything seemed so much simpler, then; he and Kurt were just getting to be friends, he was still with Quinn, they were winning games…

"And then he aired out the pass to me and I ran it in for a touchdown," Puck relates, seemingly in a better mood from just talking about it.

"And then Kurt kicked the winning field goal," Mike adds, and Kurt glances down, his cheeks a little red.

"Honestly, all I can remember is that I had to pee and Coach Tanaka wouldn't let me," he admits. "I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could so I could run to the washroom."

"Dude, I wish I could have been there, that sounds awesome," Sam pats Kurt's shoulder. "Not you having to pee, I mean, but the game."

"Yes, it's a little hard to imagine you playing football," Blaine adds, and Kurt shakes his head.

"That's why I didn't for very long. And it was all Brittany's fault, anyway; she was the one who told my dad I was on the team when I wasn't," Kurt admits. "It was fun while it lasted, but ultimately Glee was far more important. And then once the majority of the team decided I was best used as a punching bag, well…"

"Hey, we're not talking about that," Finn tells him, reaching to put a hand on his knee. "We're forgetting about that, remember?"

"Right," Kurt nods and they settle back to watch the game.

000

"So, there's nothing you want to talk about?" Blaine asks later once they guys have left and they're down in the bedroom again.

"There's nothing _to _talk about," Kurt replies. "Yes, I've admitted that it surprised me, but that's because I've spent most of the last year trying to forget everything bad about this place…and he was fairly close to the top of the list, all things considered. But now that I've been…rather forcibly reminded that he's around, it'll be hard to forget about him again. I suppose that's part of why I was upset as well," he's back to sounding nonchalant and strong, and while Finn's pretty sure at least some of it is just a front, he definitely _does _seem more composed than he'd been.

"You sure?"

"_Yes, _Blaine," Kurt heaves a sigh and sits on his bed, looking like he wished the conversation was over and done with.

"I think we need to talk about it," Finn knows Kurt won't like him for saying that, and from the glare his boyfriend turns on him he figures he's right, but in reality _he's _not the one who's entirely okay with everything; not with what he's learned today. Being with the guys was fun and all, but now that it's just them again he's starting to really think about what had happened.

"Finn, I just…"

"Look, I know it was a few years ago, but I just kinda found out _today, _man. What happened?"

"Okay," Kurt stands up and folds his arms across his chest, frowning as he remembers what had happened. "It was…just after I'd met Blaine. I was walking to my locker and he…Karofsky…shoved me in the hallway and ended up wrecking my phone. I guess I was just so fed up that I snapped, and I followed him into the locker room. We yelled at each other for a while and then he kissed me, and then he…he tried to kiss me again, but I pushed him away and he left. A couple of days later he cornered me at my locker and told me he'd kill me if I told anyone," Kurt blurts this all out in a rush, blinking, and Finn feels bad because he can tell that Kurt's close to tears.

"Hey, it's okay," he moves forward and lets Kurt run to him, folding him up in his long arms and holding him close. "Thanks for telling me, dude; I know that wasn't easy for you."

"And how did that help you, exactly?" Kurt asks his chest, and Finn flinches because he still sounds angry.

"I just…wanted to know how it happened. And you're lucky, dude. You're _so _lucky."

"I…I know," Kurt admits, sniffing and starting to shake a little. "That's why I hate thinking about it, because I honestly think he was confused and had no idea what he wanted, but…what if it had…there was nobody around, Finn, and I just think…"

"Dude," Finn says softly, not knowing what else to say (not that he's ever been good with words, really, but you'd think that when they were needed they'd come).

"I know I'm not weak, but he's so much bigger than I am…I wouldn't have been able to do anything if…"

"Shh, he didn't do anything," Finn says quietly, pulling Kurt as close to himself as he possibly could. "He'll never touch you again, okay?"

Kurt's still shaking and clutching at him, and Finn looks at Blaine, who's staring back, his dark eyes sad. He seems to understand that Finn has no idea how to take this, though, and he stands up and comes over, putting his arms around Kurt from behind and whispering things in his ear that are too low even for Finn to hear. Kurt eventually calms down a little and nods, pulling back enough that he can look up at Finn. "Sorry. I've been holding that in for a long time."

"It's cool, dude," Finn promises, mouthing a quick 'thank you' to Blaine, who nods at him in understanding. "I'm glad you told me."

"I'm glad I did, too," Kurt admits, turning his head to smile at Blaine, and Blaine kisses his cheek before moving away (and Finn's spent so much time convincing himself that Blaine's not a threat that it doesn't bother him anymore when he gets overly affectionate with Kurt. He was all Kurt had for a long time, after all, and Finn's trying to make up for that as best he can). "Now that we've covered this thoroughly depressing topic, we're going to watch a movie. I think you owe it to me after you made me watch that game this afternoon," he prods Finn in the chest and moves away. "Help me pick?" This is directed at Blaine, who follows him willingly, and Finn sits on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen until Kurt pops the DVD in and cuddles up close to him.

He still feels bad about making Kurt tell him the whole story, but at least it's all out in the open now.

Things can only get better from here.

000

Finn decides a couple of days later that he really needs to stop telling himself things will get better because, of course, the opposite always happens. Kurt's been distant ever since the Karofsky incident, and Finn's starting to get worried he's going to run off to New York again and he won't hear from him for _another _year. He hopes he's wrong about that, because he worked really hard just to find him last year, but he doesn't think Kurt's going to run. Hopefully.

He's worrying about this (Kurt's out with the girls again) when his mom comes in, and he's so deep in thought that he doesn't even notice her until she clears her throat.

"Honey?"

"Oh, hey, mom," Finn turns around from where he's laying (on Kurt's bed, which probably isn't the greatest idea, but it smells like him). "What's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know that Burt's employee is going back to his house today, so you're free to move into your room."

Finn freezes. He can't help it. Kurt really, _really _needs him right now, so the last thing he wants to do is move across the house where they won't be able to have late-night chats anymore. On the other hand, while Kurt and him were close in the last couple years of high school, Finn had _always _pressed for his own room, so if he suddenly decides he wants to stay with Kurt, his mom will suspect something.

Crap. What would Kurt do?

No, that won't work, Kurt would spout about clothes and hair products and _it's too much work to move, _but Finn barely _has _anything, so how can he…

"Um…okay. Cool," he gives his mother a rather sickly smile and she smiles in return.

"Of course, if you don't want to, I won't make you."

"But…why wouldn't I want to?" Finn asks in a quiet voice (and great, he thinks, if she wasn't suspicious before, she sure as heck will be now).

"Call it a mother's instinct, but you and Kurt have been really close since you came back from New York. And I never would have said anything because at the time I was just happy you boys were getting along, but ever since you danced with him at our wedding I've been suspicious," she sits down beside Finn, and Finn tries not to turn beet red as he realizes what his mom's implying.

"Mom, we're not…"

But no, he can't say that either. If he admits to it, his mother and Burt might shun them (he doesn't think they will, because they're awesome, but it's kinda weird for them to be together when their parents are married, right?). And if he denies it, Kurt will hate him forever. And then there'll be no getting him back, and Finn doesn't know if he can handle that. He cares about him too much.

Luckily, his mom saves his butt for him. "Honey, you know I'll support you no matter what. I would have supported you and Quinn if the baby had been yours, and I think this is a bit less of a deal than having your kid be a dad at sixteen," she pats his shoulder. "You can tell me the truth. I promise I won't tell Burt if you and Kurt don't want me to."

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be…" Finn swallows. He's really doing this. "Yeah, mom, we're…dating."

"I see."

And Finn's usually pretty good at figuring out what his mom's mood is, but he really can't tell if she's okay with this. "Yeah. Since New York. We…ah…we didn't want to tell you guys because it's…weird. Isn't it?"

"Oh, honey, some people will probably see it that way," his mother smooths his hair back and Finn hums low in his throat. She always knows how to make him feel better, and after everything with Quinn and the baby he's pretty sure he can tell her anything. "But, if you ask me, it'd be a _lot _weirder if we'd have been married your whole lives. You met him when you were what, fourteen? Fifteen?"

"Yeah. High school," Finn agrees.

"And he's been in love with you since then, you said?"

"Far as I know," Finn admits.

"So you two have been friends far longer than Burt and I have even known each other. And you're both adults; we can't tell you not to see each other. I have to admit that I'm a little surprised since you've never shown any interest in boys before, but…"

"It's Kurt," Finn finishes for her and they smile at each other. "I just…he's not like anybody else, Mom."

"You don't have to explain it, honey. After all, it's almost impossible to explain love," she stands up and he sputters for a few seconds.

Love? Is that really what this is? I mean, sure he thinks Kurt's great and everything, but…

"Don't think too hard, Finn," his mother says gently before moving to the stairs. "And just know that as long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"Cool. Thanks," Finn smiles after her as she heads upstairs, and he flops back on the bed once she's out of sight.

He really does have the greatest mom in the world.

000

Kurt's mortified at first when Finn just blurts out to him that his mom knows about them, but once he's calmed the other boy down (and realized that maybe, after the week Kurt's been having, randomly yelling out one of the things he's most afraid of probably isn't the greatest idea), Kurt's looking decidedly relieved and he hugs Finn tightly, almost desperately, before pulling away.

"Kurt?" Finn asks hesitantly, because he still feels that one wrong word will have Kurt booking a plane ticket, but Kurt just shakes his head and heads into the bathroom, shutting the door. Finn waits a few moments, hearing the shower turn on, before he sighs and starts pacing the basement, wondering how he was going to fix this.

Somehow his brain informs him that he needs to show Kurt he cares for him and wants to keep him around even though at the moment he's going through what Santana has tastefully termed 'male PMS'. His brain also decides that the best way to do this at the moment is to join him in the shower, and he's not quite sure how he comes to the conclusion, but it _would _be a big gesture and probably something Kurt's not expecting (he's still convinced that Kurt thinks he's not completely into this, and based on how freaked out he was after the car incident, he can't really blame him).

Finn nods, even though nobody can see him, and pulls off his shirt and jeans (he keeps his underwear on, though, because no, not going there yet. Even though Kurt will be naked and…nope. Not going there).

He opens the door carefully, holding the knob as he closes it to stop it from making any sound, and pads across the bathroom as softly as he can (and, considering that he's kind of a clutz, he's kinda proud that he doesn't run into anything). He can hear Kurt singing softly, probably something from a musical (he's quite sure he's heard Rachel singing it before, anyway), and he pulls the shower curtain back, the slide of it on the shower rod not even audible over the rush of the water.

He's frozen, then, just _staring _(and it's probably really creepy, only Kurt doesn't know he's there, so maybe it isn't?), and he cautiously steps into the shower, his foot squeaking on the smooth floor of the tub.

Kurt still doesn't turn around, though, and he takes a cautious step forward, reaching to wind his arms around Kurt's waist and pulling him back against his body. "Wh-Finn? What are you…"

"Don't leave."

"I…what?" Kurt sounds confused, and Finn's inwardly berating himself for jumping to conclusions again, but he figures it's better to explain himself.

"You've been so distant the last few days…don't run away on me again."

"You wanted to have this conversation in the _shower?" _Kurt sounds incredulous, but also like he'd expected that if Finn were to try something like this, he'd do it in a unique way.

"Um…I thought that it would…prove that I want you to stay?"

"Oh, sweetie," Kurt sighs, but he doesn't sound angry; just sort of…down. "I'm sorry I haven't been myself for the last few days, but it's nothing for you to worry about. I'm trying to get over my feelings of inadequacy regarding the whole bullying issue, but I'm starting to think that maybe it's better if I just let you all look out for me because you're doing it voluntarily so I have no reason to feel guilty over it."

"Ah…"

"Sorry. Thinking out loud," Kurt finally relaxes against him, not looking awkward at all, and Finn realizes that _he _doesn't really feel awkward anymore, either (as long as he doesn't think about the fact that Kurt's _naked, _that is). "I'll try and keep it simple for you…"

"Hey!"

Kurt laughs, a rare thing in the past few days, and says, "All I mean is that since you all _want _to protect me, maybe I should just let you."

"Yeah, you should, dude," Finn agrees.

"Now, since you're hanging onto me like a leech, how about passing the shampoo?"

"Um, sure," Finn's glad that Kurt's only brought one bottle of the stuff into the shower because otherwise he'd never pick the right one, and he hands it to Kurt.

"Thanks," Kurt squeezes some into his hands and starts working it into his hair, taking far more time with it than Finn's ever done (but Kurt's hair always looks great, so that's probably the reason). "You've proven your point, Finn, and I know this can't be comfortable for you. You're more than free to go."

And Finn's first instinct is to take him up on that, but for some reason he doesn't feel like moving. "It's fine. I'm fine. Really."

"Mm. Good," Kurt tugs him forward under the spray so he can rinse his hair out. "Conditioner?"

"Yeah," Finn passes the next bottle and just holds Kurt while he rubs it in and rinses it out, trying to figure out why this…why showering with his _boyfriend…_isn't turning him on. Of course, even though he's still technically a teenaged boy, he supposes that not _everything _has to turn him on ,and there's absolutely nothing sexual about this; it's just about comfort, so that probably explains a lot of it.

"Hey," Kurt reaches back to grip a hand in Finn's hair and pulls his head down so they can kiss, slow and wet and he's feeling a little heady from the heat of the shower, but it's…_nice. _"I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Okay," Finn agrees, moving his hands to rest on Kurt's hips and rubbing the other boy's hipbones with his thumbs.

"As I've said, for somebody seemingly so awkward, you have no fear of touching me," Kurt hums, and Finn dips his head to kiss at his shoulder.

"Well, to be honest, dude, Rachel and Quinn kinda always shot me down if I tried too much. You're not gonna do that, so I've gotta take advantage," Finn replies, his lips barely leaving Kurt's skin for him to do so.

"Oh," Kurt lets this out in a breath, hardly loud enough for Finn to hear it, before he spins around, clenches his fingers in Finn's hair again, and pulls him down into a rather violent kiss.

Finn makes an awkward kind of surprised noise, hands skimming along Kurt's skin to settle on his back and pull him closer (and his brain is rather _un_helpfully deciding to remind him every few seconds that Kurt's _not wearing any clothes, _although his boxers are soaked and they're not really doing him any good anymore, either).

Kurt breaks the kiss, letting go of Finn's hair (which is good, 'cuz Kurt's little, but he's got a really strong grip) and slipping his arms around Finn's neck before leaning into him. "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere," he says again, like he didn't think Finn believed him the first time (and Finn thinks that maybe he should be insulted by that, but hearing the words again just makes his chest do this funny squirming thing so he'll let it slide). "I'm through with running. I haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not going to let them chase me away again. This is my home, and I'm not leaving just because some people can't accept me for who I am."

"Or accept themselves for who they are," Finn adds, knowing that Kurt's mainly talking about Karofsky but not wanting to say the name.

"Or that," Kurt agrees. "Now, I think we'd best get out. Carole may accept our relationship but I don't think she'll be very happy to find us in the shower together," he pats Finn's chest and reaches to turn the water off as Finn scrambles to hand him a towel.

000

"So, Sam tells me that the two of you ran into Karofsky," Quinn says the next day as they're sitting down to lunch (Taco Bell, for once, because they're all a little sick of Breadstix). The girls ('the girls' being Quinn and Mercedes) are doing what Finn figures is their weekly check-up on Kurt's well-being.

"Yeah. I kinda forgot he was still around," Finn shrugs.

"He's going to be a Lima Loser for life, you know that," Quinn gives him that disapproving look he's been on the receiving end of far too often before turning to Kurt. "Are you okay?"

"I have to admit it was unexpected, but I'm coping," Kurt nods. "Your boyfriend and the other guys were all quick to volunteer their services as my personal bodyguards, so I think I'll be fine."

"And you know he's not gonna lay a hand on you when I'm around, either," Mercedes added.

"I do, Mercedes," Kurt gives her a warm smile. "But, can we change the topic? It's all I've been hearing about for the last few days and I'm getting a little weary of it."

"Of course. I was thinking, since we've only got a month or so of vacation left, why don't we all do something together? Santana's father has a time-share somewhere around Hocking Hills, so I thought we could all head out there for a week or so. She told me that it can hold fifteen or so people if we're willing to share rooms, so that would be perfect," Quinn suggests, looking like she's already excited about the idea, and Finn looks at Kurt, who's not looking horribly enthused.

"C'mon, man! Camping!"

"Finn Hudson, is there a part of me that screams 'I love the outdoors' to you?" Kurt asks, and Quinn starts to laugh.

"It's a cabin, Kurt; more like a bed and breakfast, actually, but there's running water and heat and air conditioning and a fully functioning kitchen. And a big screen TV," she adds for Finn's benefit, and he's glad that she did.

"Alright, it sounds acceptable," Kurt nods.

"Great! I'll let her know and we can plan out dates," Quinn already has her phone out and is texting Santana, and Mercedes looks at Kurt.

"And invite that boy of yours if you want, Kurt," she tells him, and Kurt nods.

"You're sure?"

"Of course," Quinn tucks her phone away and looks back up. "Plus, he's almost sane, which is an asset when dealing with our group."

"True enough," Kurt laughs. "I'll give him a call. Unless _you _want to do it, since the two of you are verging on 'best friend' territory," he teases, elbowing Finn in the side.

"Dude, I'm totally not!" Finn protests, although he knows that he _has _been talking to Blaine a lot, all things considered. Maybe it's because, like Quinn said, he's about as normal a guy as Finn knows.

"You ladies _do _realize that this calls for another trip to the mall, right?" Kurt's eyes have lit up now that he's talking about clothes. "I'm not taking any of my designer wear out into the forest, so we'll have to look for something that I won't be heartbroken about if it gets a little roughed up."

And then they all went off about shopping and Finn just focussed on eating his lunch (and wondering if he could get up and buy another burrito because dude, still hungry).

"No," Kurt says as soon as he tries to leave the table. "You've inhaled enough junk already, so unless you're planning on getting a salad…which I doubt…you're not buying any more."

"Dude…" Finn whines, but Kurt's obviously not budging, and Quinn and Mercedes make some comments about married couples that have them all laughing, even though Finn's kinda wondering what it means that they've reached that stage of their relationship already.

000

"You closed the door, right?"

"Um…yeah. Course I did," Finn mutters, although in reality he's not sure, but Kurt's laying on top of him on the couch and he really doesn't think he can remember that far back.

"Good. That way we'll hear if anybody's coming down here. My dad likes to burst in at…inopportune times," Kurt laughs, low in his throat, and Finn wonders _how _he can use big words at a time like this, because Finn's mostly down to one-word replies.

"Not…" Finn groans and promptly forgets what he's going to say, because a couple of years have done _nothing _for his stamina and it was hard to hold back when it was Quinn or Rachel who wouldn't let him touch _anything, _but he's got his hands on Kurt's butt and he's pushing him closer and yeah, this is pretty much heaven. And unless Kurt stops doing that wiggly-hip thing in the next thirty seconds he's totally gonna finish and for some reason that isn't enough. Not anymore. "Dude, just…"

"Hmm?" Kurt stops moving, his eyes dark, and Finn takes a breath and tries to calm himself down.

"Just…ah…if you want to…you know…you can," Finn says, and wow, that really doesn't even make sense in his own mind (well, it does because he knows what he wants, but that's obviously not what he says). Luckily, Kurt's a smart guy, and he figures out what Finn's rather vague permission means.

"Oh, sweetie," he sighs against Finn's lips. "With how long you last, it'll be over the second I touch you. How about we compromise?"

"Uh…"

"Let me," Kurt hushes him and undoes his jeans, sliding his hands in and cupping him through his boxers and yeah, _so _not gonna last, because Kurt can do _amazing _things with his fingers (probably from all that piano playing, Finn thinks), and God, Kurt probably thinks there's something wrong with him because people aren't supposed to come that fast, but…

"Hey, boys!"

Kurt swears and flails around with his free hand (and luckily Kurt's like the quickest-thinking guy he knows, because Finn's kinda frozen), grabbing the remote and shoving it behind Finn before twisting his body to hide where his hand is. "I _told _you, Finn, the score will be the same whether we look at it now or twenty minutes from now! The game's over!"

"But dude!" And that's just Finn's standard response whenever Kurt turns sports into something unimportant, but it gives him time to think of something else (namely the thing that Kurt made him watch last night, which wasn't as bad as he's going to make it out to be, but that's only because it was _short, _for an opera). "We've totally been watching that Great Performances thing for a like an hour! And who wants to watch an opera about poor people?"

Kurt gasps and looks really offended, and Finn can't tell if it's an act or not, but it seems to be convincing Burt at least. "_La Boheme _is a classic!"

"Dude, they sing a song about a candle!" Finn protests, and Kurt stifles a laugh at that one.

"Well, I'll leave you two be, then. Kurt, be nice to your brother," Burt luckily doesn't come down the stairs any farther.

"I would, dad, if he'd just _give me the remote," _Kurt reaches behind Finn's back with his free hand, actually looking for the thing.

"Carole says dinner'll be a half-hour."

"Okay," Kurt grunts, his fingers finally closing on the plastic, and Burt turns around and leaves as Kurt pulls the remote out and throws it to the side. "You closed the door, huh?"

"Dude, it's hard to remember when you're…ah…doing…oh, God…that," Finn gasps. "Kurt, he could totally come back…"

"He won't," Kurt sounds confident as he starts to move his hand again, and Finn _really _doesn't last long after that, groaning into Kurt's mouth as he comes and collapsing back on the couch, his chest heaving. "Move your leg," Kurt tells him, and Finn does it without thinking as Kurt straddles his thigh and starts rutting against him, and Finn decides the least he can do at this point is help so he moves his leg up as Kurt's snapping his hips down, and it only takes a few moments before his whole body goes rigid, and Finn can see he's biting his lip to stop from making any noise.

He flops on top of Finn after that, and it kinda hurts because he's tiny but he's solid, but he just feels good against him and Finn doesn't mind so much. "You good, dude?"

"Mm," Kurt sounds satisfied. "You really didn't hate _La Boheme _that much, did you?"

"Nah, it was okay. For an opera."

"Good. We are _so _watching _Rent _tomorrow, then," Kurt pats his shirt, and Finn's going to ask what poor people in France have to do with _Rent, _but he guesses he'll figure it out.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Hate to break the mood, but we have to tell your dad. That was way too close."

Kurt sighs, pushing himself up enough that he can look at Finn, and he doesn't look happy. "I know."

He tucks his head under Finn's chin after that, closing his eyes, and Finn guesses that means the conversation's over for the time being. He's almost glad they're going on this camping thing, now, because it'll give them some time away from home to figure out everything. But he's not looking forward to telling Burt, because if they don't he'll somehow find out anyway, and that wouldn't be good, but if they _do _he won't be happy about being the last person in the house to know, and Finn thinks that knowing your son's gay is different than knowing your son is gay and he's fooling around with your wife's son.

He tells himself not to worry about it, that it'll happen when it happens and there's not much he can do in the meantime, but he doesn't want to lose Kurt. He cares way too much about him at this point to go through that again.

Either way, he figures, they're probably screwed.

Great.

**Notes:**

**1.** Happy 2011, everybody! I realize this part is a bit more serious than some of the others, but it will get better for them. What's a story without a little conflict, right?

**2. **Zugzwang is a German word that literally means 'compulsion to move.' In chess it's used when a player is forced to make a move, but anything they choose to do will only weaken their position.

**3. **Not many notes this time, but rest assured the next part will be happier (and who knows what the boys'll get up to out in the wilderness? xP) Reviews/comments and the like are always very appreciated :D


End file.
